


A Spider on the Web

by carrot_png



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Generation Z Peter Parker, Inspired by Twitter, Minor cursing, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Social Media, Twitter, honestly peter parker is peak meme culture, peter parker is gen z and proud, peter parker makes a twitter for spiderman, would the internet count as a character?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:22:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 6,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25280788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrot_png/pseuds/carrot_png
Summary: Peter Parker, aka the one and only Spiderman, decides that shit-posting on Twitter as Spiderman is just what his life needs. These are his shenanigans.
Comments: 170
Kudos: 868





	1. On a Scale of 1 to 10: A Thread

_23 February 2020 · 1:02 AM_

**Let’s get this bread** @spiderman

would it be bad luck to say that patrol is boring tonight? like! i’m glad no one is in trouble but also i haven’t had a proper night’s rest in months.

_23 February 2020 · 1:26 AM_

**Let’s get this bread** @spiderman

it was bad luck. i take it back.

  
  


_12 March 2020 · 4:43 PM_

**Let’s get this bread** @spiderman

2020 can go frick itself

> **uwu** @itsnotaprobanymore  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Frick?
> 
> **Let's get this bread** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @itsnotaprobanymore_
> 
> there shall be no cursing in my christian minecraft server!

_14 March 2020 · 12:58 PM_

**Let's get this bread** @spiderman

day 23 in the chamber. they ain't found me yet, but when they do, they gonna be surprised.

> **👁️🗢👁️** @uwuchan  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> is this just a tiktok quote or are you actually hiding?
> 
> **Let's get this bread** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @uwuchan_
> 
> i have ✨uPgRadEs✨ being made to my suit, so i'm stuck at the avengers compound

_14 March 2020 · 1:39 PM_

**Let's get this bread** @spiderman

rating the people around the avengers compound because I'm bored: A Thread

_14 March 2020 · 1:42 PM_

**Let's get this bread** @spiderman

mr stark. solid 9/10. would be a ten but who wears sunglasses inside? i don't care that they are super high tech, definitely not jealous. 

_14 March 2020 · 1:45 PM_

**Let's get this bread** @spiderman

hawkeye. 6.5/10 but honestly we must stan our HOH king. i once saw him fall out of a vent. also purple is a weird colour?

_14 March 2020 · 1:46 PM_

**Let's get this bread** @spiderman

black widow. 11/10. the flavour? immaculate. the volume? astronomical. totally not spider-themed bias.

_14 March 2020 · 1:49 PM_

**Let's get this bread** @spiderman

the winter soldier. 8/10. cool arm. 

_14 March 2020 · 1:52 PM_

**Let's get this bread** @spiderman

captain america. -10/10. said a dirty word on my christian minecraft server. gives me flashbacks to pe. has eyebrows of disappointment. 

> **avengers stan** @notallheroswearcapes  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> omg this is the best thread ever
> 
> **ear puns** @volumedown  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> so y'all really out here letting me find out that hawkeye was HOH from Spiderman shitposts?
> 
> **eat the rich** @trafficlitesatnite  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Spider-themed bias. But honestly, who wore it better?
> 
> **tony stank** @tonystark  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Kid, what are you doing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker is peak Gen Z and I will die on that hill. I'm not sure the exact direction that this is going in yet but there will be a lot of memes. Hope you guys enjoy!


	2. Renegade

_15 March 2020 · 8:15 PM_

**SpiderWatch** @officialspidernews

Spiderman spotted on 5th street dancing to Renegade at request of fans. Is Spiderman one of us? #spiderwatch #tiktok #renegade #genz

> **Savage™ @thatbeach  
> ** _replying to @officialspidernews_ **  
> **
> 
> Spiderman has to be a millennial or a gen z
> 
> **Sara no H** @saraaaa  
>  _replying to @thatbeach_
> 
> The only valid options. We would regrettably have to unstan if he were a boomer.
> 
> **Savage** **™** @thatbeach  
>  _replying to @saraaaa_
> 
> Isn't Captain America a boomer?
> 
> **Sara no H** @saraaaa  
>  _replying to @thatbeach_
> 
> I said what I said. 💅

_16 March 2020 · 12:06 AM_

**Let's get this bread** @spiderman

i'm trending? sweet. anyone wanna do a #spiderama ?

> **Lindsey** @urmumsahoe  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Was that really you doing the renegade? #spiderama
> 
> **Let's get this bread** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @urmumsahoe_
> 
> yup!

> **Anna Banana** @catloafbread  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Do you have a tiktok? #spiderama
> 
> **Let's get this bread** @spiderman
> 
> between school and webslinging, i don't have time to make tiktoks, but i definitely waste time on the app!

> **Himbo** @officialhimbotweets  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Why does @StarSpangledMan give you flashbacks to PE? #spiderama
> 
> **Let's get this bread** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @officialhimbotweets_
> 
> my school still shows old psas that captain america filmed in pe and sometimes detention. the amount of times i've seen his disappointed eyebrows this past month is aStrOnOmICaL.

_16 March 2020 · 12:58 AM_

**Daily reminder to smile** @clapthemcheeks

Hold the fucking phone. Is @spiderman still in highschool? Am I simping for a whole ass child? #spiderama

> **Margo** @ohhellothar  
>  _replying to @clapthemcheeks_
> 
> Yes 😂
> 
> **Jackie** @twerkingrites  
>  _replying to @clapthemcheeks_
> 
> F
> 
> **Pettywise** @pettywisetheclown  
>  _replying to @clapthemcheeks_
> 
> F
> 
> **Let's get this bread** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @clapthemcheeks_
> 
> f


	3. Forbidden Snacks

_18 March 2020 · 1:32 AM  
_

**it's ya boi** @spiderman

with great power comes great responsibility

**it's ya boi** @spiderman

i will either die a hero, or live long enough to see myself become a villain 

_18 March 2020 · 2:15 AM_

**it's ya boi** @spiderman

... the deed has been done.

> **Dumbo** @bigbagofbeans  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> This is ominous as fuck
> 
> **Ayyye** @gigigooo  
>  _replying to @bigbagofbeans_
> 
> no cursing on spiderman's christian minecraft server!

> **Tony Stank** @TonyStark  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Kid... 1) why the fuck are you still awake and 2) what the fuck did you do

_18 March 2020 · 2:22 AM_

**F.R.I.D.A.Y** @AIFriday

@StarSpangledMan @TonyStark Language Protocol initiated. 

> **Cap** @StarSpangledMan  
>  _replying to @AIFriday @TonyStark_
> 
> Did you seriously just have FRIDAY wake me up to say "Language"?

_18 March 2020 · 2:38 AM_

**Christmas in July** @queenkilljoy

Putting a pause on @TonyStark and @StarSpangledMan 's issue with the f-word, does any one actually know what Spidey is out here doing? 

_18 March 2020 · 2:51 AM_

**The only valid Karen** @AIKaren

@TonyStark, it seems that @Spiderman has consumed a tide pod and wishes for you to not know.

> **it's ya boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @AIKaren @TonyStark_
> 
> Thanks, Karen.

_18 March 2020 · 3:06 AM_

**Shuri** @wakandanprincess

@spiderman why was I not informed that we were eating the forbidden snack?

> **it's ya boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @wakandanprincess_
> 
> it was sort of an impulse thing. they had free tide pod samples at this laundromat and it just happened
> 
> **it's ya boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @wakandanprincess_
> 
> it actually tasted kind of gross
> 
> **it's ya boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @wakandanprincess_
> 
> yet somehow satisfying
> 
> **it's ya boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @wakandanprincess_
> 
> my stomach kinda hurts

_18 March 2020 · 3:10 AM_

**T'challa** @blackpanther

Please tell me you are not actually planning on eating laundry detergent, @wakandanprincess.

> **Shuri** @wakandanprincess  
>  _replying to @blackpanter_
> 
> If I am? What will you do about it furry?
> 
> **it's ya boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @blackpanter @wakandanprincess_
> 
> why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?


	4. Team Red

_ 21 March 2020 · 11:15 AM _

**SpiderWatch** @officialspidernews

Spiderman spotted in Hell's Kitchen earlier this morning helping local vigilante Daredevil. #spiderwatch #spiderman #daredevil

> **Flint** @pocketsand  
>  _replying to @officialspidernews_
> 
> I thought Spiderman was an #avenger
> 
> **Thomas** @THBaker  
>  _replying to @pocketsand_
> 
> What does being an avenger have to do with anything?
> 
> **Flint** @pocketsand  
>  _replying to @THBaker_
> 
> I'm just saying, I don't see Iron Man or Captain America helping to keep Hell's Kitchen safe. Not really an "avenger level threat". 
> 
> **Ole Razzle Dazzle** @spacecatkatie  
>  _replying to @pocketsand_
> 
> Spidey has always been around to help every day people. Why are you being such a hater?
> 
> **Flint** @pocketsand  
>  _replying to @spacecatkatie_
> 
> Please, stop pretending like these guys actually care about regular people. It's all about public image for people like Iron Man. Spiderman may have cared before, but now that he's with the avengers, I doubt he gives two shits.

_ 21 March 2020 · 11:31 AM _

**Back it up Terry** @twopeasinapod

Does #daredevil have a twitter?

> **it's ya** **boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @twopeasinapod_
> 
> :'( no. we've tried to make him get one, but he won't
> 
> **omg spiderman responded to me** @twopeasinapod  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> We?
> 
> **it's ya boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @twopeasinapod_
> 
> @mercwithamouth and i!

_ 21 March 2020 · 11:40 AM _

**Robyn** @beancontent

How did we not know that Spiderman knows Deadpool?

> **Sunny** @sunnyinseattle  
>  _replying to @beancontent_
> 
> Do you think he cares that he... uh... kills people?
> 
> **Deadpool** @mercwithamouth  
>  _replying to @sunnyinseattle_
> 
> I prefer the term "unalive", and I haven't unalived anyone since Webhead's been in the picture ;)
> 
> **it's ya boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @sunnyinseattle @mercwithamouth_
> 
> he promised he wouldn't unalive anyone anymore

_ 21 March 2020 · 12:11 PM _

**Tony Stank** @tonystark

@spiderman kid, tell me that I'm just getting old and my eyesight is bad. 

> **it's ya boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @tonystark_
> 
> you're getting old and your eyesight is bad????????
> 
> **Tony Stank** @tonystark  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Why is your name trending with Daredevil and Deadpool of all people? What did you get yourself into?
> 
> **Deadpool** @mercwithamouth  
>  _replying to @tonystark @spiderman_
> 
> Don't be jealous that you can't be a part of #teamred
> 
> **it's ya boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @mercwithamouth @tonystark_
> 
> well that sounds like my cue to go, gotta swing!
> 
> **Tony Stank** @tonystark  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> This conversation is far from over. 

_ 21 March 2020 · 12:45 PM _

**SpiderWatch** @officialspidernews

Spiderman spotted scaling the side of Avengers Tower. Did he get in trouble with the Avengers for his involvement with what @mercwithamouth called #teamred ? #spiderman #ironman #spiderwatch #avengers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep adding characters to the tag list, lol   
> so if there's anyone in particular that you'd like to see appear on the twitter feed   
> 👉👈 lemme know


	5. Status: Grounded

_ 21 March 2020 · 2:06 PM _

**status:** **grounded** @spiderman

so... i'm grounded :(

> **Pizza w/o Pineapple** @carrieon  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> ??? how can someone just... ground Spidey?
> 
> **Judge Judy** @judyjudybobudy  
>  _replying to @carrieon_
> 
> Dude, didn't you hear? Spiderman is like... 12
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @carrieon @judyjudybobudy_
> 
> i'm not twelve >:(

> **Deadpool** @mercwithamouth  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Just say the word and I'll get DD and we will rescue you from Iron Daddy
> 
> **Tony Stank** @TonyStark  
>  _replying to @mercwithamouth_
> 
> Ew. Never call me that again.

_ 21 March 2020 · 3:23 PM _

**status: grounded** @spiderman

Can we tread something other than #irondaddy , i am ✨u n c o m f y✨

> **Purple is a cool colour** @hawkeye  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Didn't you call Stark "dad" once?
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @hawkeye_
> 
> ............ you did this... for what?
> 
> **Purple is a cool colour** @hawkeye  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> 🤷 You rated me a 6.5, this is what you deserve.
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @hawkeye_
> 
> i'm going to eat your kneecaps in your sleep.
> 
> **Purple is a cool colour** @hawkeye  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> @tonystark come get your kid he's scaring me

_ 21 March 2020 · 3:40 PM _

**Alive Aha Fuck** @agentpotato

Is @tonystark actually @spiderman 's dad or something?

> **Joshua** @JTCarter  
>  _replying to @agentpotato_
> 
> Stark would be the type of parent that turned his kid into a mask wearing freak.
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @agentpotato @JTcarter_
> 
> :/ i'm not a freak? that's rude.

_ 21 March 2020 · 3:52 PM _

**#IronDad** @tonystark

Being a good person and doing what is right and helping those who cannot help themselves does not make you a freak and if I see one more person calling my kid a freak, I will end your whole career.

> **Pepper Potts** @StarkCEO  
>  _replying to @tonystark_
> 
> Tony, this is going to be a PR nightmare. You can't just go around calling people your kid.
> 
> **#IronDad** @tonystark  
>  _replying to @StarkCEO_
> 
> Watch me.

_ 21 March 2020 · 3:55 PM _

**Natasha** @blackwidow

Who is calling Spiderman a freak? Turn on your location, I just want to talk. 🔪🔪


	6. #SpiderAMA

_ 22 March 2020 · 3:41 PM  
_

**status: grounded** @spiderman

since i'm grounded, who wants another #spiderama ?

> **BS** @cinnabunz  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Who is your favourite avenger? #spiderama
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @cinnabunz_
> 
> are you really trying to get me grounded for longer? :(

> **Jay** @halfearthling  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> How did you get Deadpool to stop "unaliving" people? #spiderama
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @halfearthling_
> 
> easy. i just asked him to stop
> 
> **Jay** @halfearthling  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Imagine having that much power- I-

> **CommonSense-Man** @commonsenseman  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Why don't you ever use capital letters? #spiderama
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @commonsenseman_
> 
> ~ ✨ aesthetic ✨ ~

> **Deborah** @debragrahms  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> So like.. do the webs, you know, come out of you? #spiderama
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @debragrahms_
> 
> omg ew no i use webslingers — my own design
> 
> **Deborah** @debragrahms  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> So, hypothetically, anyone could grab a mask and make their own webslingers and be Spiderman?
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @debragrahms_
> 
> hypothetically, yeah?

> **Hope** @hopestwest  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> So if the webs are from a machine, what do you use to crawl on things? Magnets? Suction cups? Stark tech? #spiderama
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @hopestwest_
> 
> i'm just a sticky boi :)

> **#1 SpideyFan** @spideyfanaccount  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> The videos of you catching cars on the internet are *so* cool! What's the most you can lift? #spiderama
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @spideyfanaccount_
> 
> i don't have an exact number but one time i had a building dropped on me and i was able to lift it off
> 
> **#IronDad** @tonystark  
>  _replying to @spideyfanaccount @spiderman_
> 
> Excuse me, you lifted a *what* off of you?
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @spideyfanaccount @spiderman_
> 
> whoops, gotta swing!

_ 22 March 2020 · 5:02 PM _

**Avenger News** @officialavengerupdates

Avengers Tower reportedly went into lockdown around 4:56 pm. Could this be due to @spiderman 's recent tweets about being trapped under a building? #spiderama #avengers


	7. T*ny St*rk

_ 27 March 2020 · 5:02 PM _

**Sophia The First** @sophialite

Anyone else worried that we haven't heard from #spiderman in five days?

> **Sasha** @sourdoughbread  
>  _replying to @sophialite_
> 
> I'm sure he's just busy saving people
> 
> **SpiderWatch** @officialspiderwatch  
>  _replying to @sophialite @sourdoughbread_
> 
> There have been no spottings of @spiderman since our last update.

_ 27 March 2020 · 5:09 PM _

**Kry** @krystalball

Do you think Tony Stark is holding Spiderman hostage?

_ 27 March 2020 · 5:15 PM _

**Val** @glossygossip

Kinda strikes me as weird that ir*nm*n has so much control over sp*d*rm*n, he's not even an av*ng*r, iirc

> **Rey** @lonelygirl15  
>  _replying to @glossygossip_
> 
> Isn't that why the av*ng*rs fought before? Because ir*nm*n was too controlling???
> 
> **Carlos** @icarlos  
>  _replying to @glossygossip @lonelygirl15_
> 
> dude, everyone knows you're talking about ironman and spiderman?? why are you censoring it??
> 
> **Val** @glossygossip  
>  _replying to @icarlos_
> 
> Can you please delete your tweet? I don't want the algorithm to pick it up and for st*rk to see it
> 
> **Carlos** @icarlos  
>  _replying to @glossygossip_
> 
> As if he cares about a nobody twitter account

_ 27 March 2020 · 6:45 PM _

**status: grounded** @spiderman

i saw that i was trending, pls don't start any conspiracy theories. mr. stark is awesome and i could have gone out as spiderman if i wanted to

> **status: grounded** @spiderman
> 
> i had an essay due and i've been on my personal twitter all week
> 
> **status: grounded** @spiderman
> 
> thanks for looking out for me, though. if i'm ever in real trouble you guys will be the first to know!


	8. #yesnochallenge

1 June 2020 · 10:41 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

@blackwidow did you really make out with @hawkeye?

> **Natasha** @blackwidow  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> I am disgusted. I am revolted. I dedicate my entire life to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and this is the thanks I get? @starspangledman did you buy stock in Depends?
> 
> **Cap** @starspangledman  
>  _replying to @spiderman @blackwidow_
> 
> Of course, hasn't everyone? @thefalcon Do you think Helen Keller is real?
> 
> **Sam Wilson** @thefalcon  
>  _replying to @spiderman @starspangledman_
> 
> I mean, sure, I guess. @tonystark does your sleep paralysis demon twerk?
> 
> **#IronDad** @tonystark  
>  _replying to @spiderman @thefalcon_
> 
> All the time, honestly. @warmachine did you sub to my onlyfans?
> 
> **Colonel Rhodes** @warmachine  
>  _replying to @spiderman @tonystark_
> 
> Does a bear shit in the woods? @hawkeye have you ever thought about not being a little bitch?
> 
> **Purple is a cool colour** @hawkeye  
>  _replying to @spiderman @warmachine_
> 
> It's sort of my trademark. @spiderman were you in my swamp?
> 
> **spidey boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @hawkeye_
> 
> what can i say? shrek is love, shrek is life.

1 June 2020 · 12:13 PM

**Avengers News** @officialavengersupdates

If you're feeling down today, check out @spiderman 's page for a fun #avengersthread with their take on the viral tiktok #yesnochallenge

1 June 2020 · 12:22 PM

**Daily Bugle** @thedailybugle

Spiderman the Menace is threatening the safety of New York by keeping the Avengers busy on social media. — read more here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I disappeared for a couple of days, sorry about that — I'm back again and hopefully figuring out a real direction for this!


	9. Cryptic Tweets

5 June 2020 · 12:18 AM

**spidey** **boi** @spiderman

ksaren how do i give myszelf stitcshe

5 June 2020 · 12:19 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

wphat do you mean ewetwt sent

5 June 2020 · 12:21 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

kanre vi cant' understanld you

> **#IronDad** @tonystark  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Kid, what are you trying to tweet?
> 
> **spidey boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @tonystark_
> 
> twerte? karen! ddi lyou ppost what ri swas smaying?
> 
> **#IronDad** @tonystark  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Stay where you are, spiderling. I'm coming to get you.
> 
> **spidey boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @tonystark_
> 
> vi'm finep, mr sthark! it lwas ebarely a scratch! 

5 June 2020 · 12:36 AM

**SpiderWatch** @officialspidernews

@spiderman was spotted in Flushing Meadows around midnight. The webslinger appeared to be injured while leaving the scene and was spotted being flown to Avengers Tower by Ironman after a series of cryptic tweets.

> **Tony** @bitchlasagna   
> _replying to @officialspidernews_
> 
> Now I feel like an ass, I thought he was drunk. 
> 
> **Sav** @savage_savannah  
>  _replying to @officialspidernews @bitchlasagna_
> 
> His tweets weren't *that* hard to read, he clearly was asking his AI how to give himself stitches.

> **Shannon** @crispyarmin  
>  _replying to @officialspidernews_
> 
> I wish he would just rely on the avengers for helps sometimes instead of swinging around injured ;; 
> 
> **Mary** @silverlininglight  
>  _replying to @crispyarmin_
> 
> He wouldn't have gotten hurt if he didn't try to do the police's job! He's just another narcissist that wants to play hero, just like Iron Man.
> 
> **link in bio** @tahtgamingyoutuber  
>  _replying to @crispyarmin @silverlininglight_
> 
> but no one wants to have *that* conversation
> 
> **Shannon** @crispyarmin  
>  _replying to @silverlininglight @tahtgamingyoutuber_
> 
> Because it's not even a conversation that needs to be had! Spidey is the farthest thing from narcissistic! 
> 
> **Jerrett** @wheresjerret  
>  _replying to @crispyarmin @silverlininglight @tahtgamingyoutuber_
> 
> saying "but no one wants to have that conversation" doesn't make your point ~* d e e p *~ bro. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> making up names and usernames has to be the hardest part of writing each update


	10. #spideyidentity

6 June 2020 · 9:45 AM

 **Ivan** @ivan_no

Do you ever wonder if @/spiderman has a personal twitter account? #spideyidentity #showerthoughts

> **season 5** @fatal_gaming_god  
>  _replying to @ivan_no_
> 
> Is @/spiderman not personally his?
> 
> **Ivan** @ivan_no  
>  _replying to @fatal_gaming_god_
> 
> I mean a twitter account for the man behind the mask.
> 
> **#helpthebear** @ventimochaswirl  
>  _replying to @ivan_no_
> 
> LOL I thought we agreed months ago that @/spiderman was like... 12?

6 June 2020 · 9:51 AM

 **Glados** @thecakeisalie

It makes sense why heroes and vigilantes like @/spiderman hide their identities, but when we have people like Tony Stark out here announcing they are Iron Man just days after debuting their suit... what can I say, curiosity kills the cat. #spideyidentity

> **Hailey** @casual_fling  
>  _replying to @thecakeisalie_
> 
> does satisfaction bring it back? #spideyidentity
> 
> **Glados** @thecakeisalie  
>  _replying to @casual_fling_
> 
> I hope you're not implying that we find out spiderman's real identity. That's a huge invasion of privacy! 
> 
> **Brian** @doublewhammy  
>  _replying to @thecakeisalie_
> 
> Spiderman is a freak just like those so called 'x-men' mutants. Does he really deserve privacy? I wouldn't want my kids interacting with someone like him. #spideyidentity
> 
> **Hailey** @casual_fling  
>  _replying to @doublewhammy_
> 
> Yeah 🙄 because someone who helps old ladies cross the road and stops sexual assaults before they happen is such a terrible role model for kids to have /s

6 June 2020 · 10:02 AM

 **Paulina** @cutemushroomgf

I think the only reason I would want to know Spidey's real personal account is because I feel like he shares really great memes #spideyidentity

6 June 2020 · 10:05 AM

 **Nik(o)** @nekonikoknee

I bet @/spiderman could take amazing photos of NY while swinging around. Spidey, if you see this! Make an insta! #spideyidentity

6 June 2020 · 10:15 AM

 **spidey boi** @spiderman

why is #spideyidentity trending? did someone leak my nudes :O

> **Deadpool** @mercwithamouth  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Who do I need to unalive, sweetums? Revenge Porn is never okay.
> 
> **spidey boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @mercwithamouth_
> 
> omg no it was a joke please don't unalive anyone

6 June 2020 · 11:48 AM

 **spidey boi** @spiderman

i respect the discussions around the idea of secret identities, but i would appreciate it if noone tried to unmask me. im just like everyone else. i have family and people i care about that could get hurt because of the things that i do (1/

6 June 2020 · 11:50 AM

 **spidey boi** @spiderman

i know i put them at risk by continuing to do these things but, i learned the hard way that when you can do the things that i do and you don’t and people get hurt because you were too weak to stand up for what was right, it’s on you. (2/

6 June 2020 · 11:54 AM

 **spidey boi** @spiderman

i am always open to criticism when it is justified and constructive but don’t @ me just because you want your bigotry known to the world. if you call me a freak and a mutant just because I am different than you (3/

6 June 2020 · 11:58 AM

 **spidey boi** @spiderman

then i would hate to see how you treat someone who comes from a different culture or happens to be a different race or identify as a different gender or sexuality. i’m still a human being worthy of respect and privacy (/4

> **uwu** @itsnotaprobanymore  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> He said what he said!
> 
> **avengers stan** @notallheroswearcapes  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> mic. drop.
> 
> **Flint** @pocketsand  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> As if anyone would care who is actually behind the mask. Most bad guys are of the avengers own making. 
> 
> **Alive Aha Fuck** @agentpotato  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> do we have an "ism" for people who are anti mutant/enhanced individuals/etc? It would make it easier so we can label the bigots who @ spidey just for being his buggy self. 


	11. TikTok Trends: A Thread

8 June 2020 · 5:16 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

today's thread will be what the #avengers would have gone viral for on @tiktok if they had made accounts liked i asked them to. before you ask, no, i do not take criticism. 

8 June 2020 · 5:18 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

starting out strong, @tonystark and @starspangledman would have gone viral for "if you're motherfking happy and you motherfking know it clap your hands", and it would have ended with mr. stark smacking #americasass

8 June 2020 · 5:22 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

i'm pretty sure if i uploaded footage of @vision glitching to that glitchy russian song, it would still go viral

8 June 2020 · 5:25 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

i don't know if mr fury has a twitter or if i will be arrested if i tag him, but he should do the "here's the tea" nail clicking because mr fury has all the tea

8 June 2020 · 5:28 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

@wakandanprincess, do us a solid and record @blackpanther drinking "superhero juice" and then move the sticky note to reveal that it's actually "furry juice" i am begging you

8 June 2020 · 5:30 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

alternatively, @wakandanprincess should get on the siren beat trend to show off her cultural outfits! #wakandaforever

8 June 2020 · 5:31 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

@blackwidow could do either the freddie dredd "damn son" or the "i'm fcked up" thirst traps and we would all be blessed

8 June 2020 · 5:36 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

@hawkeye would only go viral with the "i just flipped the switch" trend if he got @blackwidow 's help and they switched uniforms.

8 June 2020 · 5:39 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

@whitewolf would use the "i can't take it off" audio with a green screen image of a tsa agent asking him to take off his arm because if the avengers didn't have private planes you can't tell me this wouldn't legit happen

8 June 2020 · 5:41 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

@drstephanstrange would do the stranger things (haha get it?) trend but would use his really cool magic to make the camera actually fall through cool portals!

8 June 2020 · 5:42 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

you can't tell me that @mercwithamouth wouldn't be perfect for the "i used to be so beautiful now look at me" audio

8 June 2020 · 5:45 AM

**spidey boi** @spiderman

i'm begging @thefalcon to make a tiktok with the "do you ever look at someone and wonder what is going on inside their heads" audio but with clips of @whitewolf and @starspangledman not understanding this century

8 June 2020 · 5:48 AM

**#IronDad** @tonystark

kid, don't tell me you've been up all night on a school night.

> **spidey boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @tonystark_
> 
> i won't tell you that i've been up all night on a school night

8 June 2020 · 5:50 AM

**F.R.I.D.A.Y** @AIFriday

@starspangledman @spiderman Language Protocol initiated. 

> **Cap** @starspangledman  
>  _replying to @AIFriday_
> 
> @spiderman, kid. Really? 
> 
> **spidey boi** @spiderman
> 
> !!!!! i'm 16!!! a grandmother!!


	12. Sixteen?! A Grandmother!

8 June 2020 · 6:15 AM

 **SpiderWatch** @officialspidernews

After a fun thread of Avenger TikTok trends, our webslinging hero responded to Captain America here on twitter. Was it just another vine reference or is our spider hero really only sixteen?

8 June 2020 · 6:16 AM

 **Daily Bugle** @thedailybugle

Breaking News: Local menace only sixteen years of age! Where are @spiderman ‘s parents and who is actually in control of this web-slinging vigilante?! — [read more here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvLDKQFdVhc)

8 June 2020 · 6:20 AM

 **Avengers News** @officialavengersupdates

We urge the public not to speculate and jump to conclusions based upon what they see on the internet. 

> **Kimberley** @kimsatz  
>  _replying to @officialavengersupdates_
> 
> So is it true or not? Is Spiderman actually only sixteen?!
> 
> **Internet Explorer** @1nt3rn3t3xp70r3r  
>  _replying to @officialavengersupdates_
> 
> I mean, Spiderman did reveal that he was still in school, right? You all should have known he was a teenager?
> 
> **Dave** @daviiid  
>  _replying to @officialavengersupdates @1nt3rn3t3xp70r3r_
> 
> no way, i thought by school he meant college??
> 
> **Internet Explorer** @1nt3rn3t3xp70r3r  
>  _replying to @officialavengersupdates @daviiid_
> 
> He literally said he sees Cap PSAs while in *detention*, I don't know what college you're thinking of that still does *denention*. 
> 
> **Gia** @giastorm  
>  _replying to @officialavengersupdates @1nt3rn3t3xp70r3r_
> 
> Let's not forget that he dropped an F in chat for that person asking if they were simping over a whole ass child!

8 June 2020 · 10:48 AM

 **spidey boi** @spiderman

guys... it was a vine reference, omg

8 June 2020 · 10:48 AM

 **spidey boi** @spiderman

besides, i'm not sixteen yet :'(

> **Pepper Potts** @StarkCEO
> 
> You are just as much of a PR nightmare as Tony is, kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry that I've been away for so long! Life hit pretty hard, but I'm back now and ready to write all of the things! I got a lot done while I was away so expect *all* of the updates!


	13. New Handle, Who Dis?

15 June 2020 · 12:47 PM

 **spidey boi** @spiderman

so i was thinking. . .

> **Rick** @rickyboi  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Whoa, be careful there, buddy! Don't hurt yourself!
> 
> **spidey boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @rickyboi_
> 
> rude. i mean, true. but rude.

15 June 2020 · 12:52 PM

 **spidey boi** @spiderman

a n y w a y s, i was thinking about maybe going to pride next weekend

> **Stacey** @enbystacey  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> OMG YES!
> 
> **Leslie is Lesbi** @leslielies  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> My parents were worried about me going to pride alone this year, if you are there then it will be safe!

> **Greg** @greggreggreg  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Don't you kind of think it's overstepping boundaries? Like, can the Avengers pls not be narcissistic for once?
> 
> **Sara Wheelie** @sarahwheeler  
>  _replying to @greggreggreg_
> 
> ??? pride??? is for everyone??? how is spiderman wanting to go to pride = narcissistic??????
> 
> **Greg** @greggreggreg  
>  _replying to @sarahwheeler_
> 
> I'm just saying, they always make these things about themselves. Let the LGBTQ community have this one thing. 
> 
> **Sara Wheelie** @sarahwheeler  
>  _replying to @greggreggreg_
> 
> oh rite, i forgot, you speak for all members of the LGBTQ community, apparently! /s

15 June 2020 · 1:15 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

uuuhhm. in case it wasn’t clear, when i swing around saving all of you guys, i swing both ways. 

> **#IronDad** @tonystark  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Wow, kid... This isn't how I pictured you coming out — wait, no, this is exactly how I pictured you coming out. Good job, kid.
> 
> **sBIderman** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @tonystark_
> 
> Thank you, Mr. Stark! 

15 June 2020 · 1:20 PM

 **SpiderWatch** @officialspidernews

Official Update — Spiderman came out as bi via twitter! Happy pride, everyone! #nycpride #pride #spidernews #biicon

> **Joshua** @JTCarter  
>  _replying to @officialspidernews_
> 
> Wow, guess he's a freak in more than one way.
> 
> **Alive Aha Fuck** @agentpotato  
>  _replying to @JTCarter_
> 
> If you have such an issue with #sBIderman , why are you letting him live in your head rent free my dude? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who clicked on the link last chapter. 
> 
> Quick updates: I originally had planned to sort of cover this years events in the background of the twitter shenanigans, however, we have all had to live through them and that is bad enough. 
> 
> Peter Parker would 100% wear a mask over his Spiderman mask and would urge everyone to be registered to vote. Thank you for coming to this TED Talk.


	14. The MJ Files

16 June 2020 · 4:34 PM

**MJ** @themjfiles

Not you guys out here pretending like your faves aren't queer because of your straight cis toxic culture. 

> **Kevin** @kevin__johnson  
>  _replying to @themjfiles_
> 
> Why do you people have to make everything gay these days? Everyone wants to be a special little snowflake and cry about representation. Not everything has to be gay. Grow up and get over yourself.
> 
> **MJ** @themjfiles  
>  _replying to @kevin__johnson_
> 
> Okay Kevin, here is where you fucked up. You say "you people" as if the LGBTQ+ community are "others". You say that things are "being made gay these days" as if queer folk haven't existed this whole time. 
> 
> **MJ** @themjfiles _  
> replying to_ _@kevin__johnson_
> 
> While you get to live out your little cis white picket fence straight family fantasy, queer folks are doing what they have always done... progressing. 
> 
> **MJ** @themjfiles  
>  _replying to @kevin__johnson_
> 
> And calling people "snowflakes" doesn't have the effect that you want it to. You just sound like a boomer. 
> 
> **MJ** @themjfiles  
>  _replying to @kevin__johnson_
> 
> Leonardo Da Vinci? Gay.
> 
> **MJ** @themjfiles  
>  _replying to @kevin__johnson_
> 
> Shakespeare? Gay.
> 
> **MJ** @themjfiles  
>  _replying to @kevin__johnson_
> 
> Maybe those examples are a little too outside of the little bubble you see the world in, Kevin. I can't help but notice you're using Captain America's shield for your icon.
> 
> **MJ** @themjfiles  
>  _replying to @kevin__johnson_
> 
> Guess what, Kevin. Gay. If not, bi. 
> 
> **Kevin** @kevin__johnson  
>  _replying to @themjfiles_
> 
> Neither of those can be proven and Cap is not gay. He is an American icon that stands for everything a REAL American MAN should be. 
> 
> **Kevin** @kevin__johnson  
>  _replying to @themjfiles_
> 
> Aren't you people the ones always crying about not assuming shit about people? You're projecting your snowflake gayness onto everyone. 
> 
> **MJ** @themjfiles  
>  _replying to @kevin__johnson_
> 
> Dude, there's no assumption. Cap literally became a war criminal for his old "buddy". 
> 
> **MJ** @themjfiles  
>  _replying to @kevin__johnson_
> 
> Queer history is constantly being coded by cis straight people to try and erase it. "Oh they were roommates" "They were best friends!", no dipshit, they were romantically involved.
> 
> **MJ** @themjfiles  
>  _replying to @kevin__johnson_
> 
> Life, ffs. @spiderman tweeted that he was literally bi. Wanna argue that one too, buddy?

16 June 2020 · 5:26 PM

**sBIderman** @spiderman

so, i just saw a tweet thread and i thought since it's pride month and all, maybe i would get some friends to help clear the air. to shed some light, so to speak, on some queer history erasure. go to @starspangledman 's page for today's history lesson!

16 June 2020 · 5:26 PM

**Cap** @starspangledman

Imagine living in an era where being anything other than heterosexual could, at worst, end with you being dead. 

16 June 2020 · 5:27 PM

**Cap** @starspangledman

And then imagine waking up seventy years later, where queerness is still oppressed but it is also celebrated, where you have rights and freedoms. 

16 June 2020 · 5:28 PM

**Cap** @starspangledman

And then imagine people thinking your boyfriend — that you once went into nazi territory to rescue, mind you — is just your roommate still. 

> **#IronDad** @TonyStark  
>  _replying to @starspangledman_
> 
> In case this wasn't clear enough for all the haters, Cap and Bucky are fucking.

16 June 2020 · 5:28 PM

**F.R.I.D.A.Y** @AIFriday

@StarSpangledMan @TonyStark Language Protocol initiated. 

> **Cap** @starspangledman  
>  _replying to @AIFriday @TonyStark_
> 
> I am aware, Thanks Friday. Tony, was that necessary?
> 
> **#IronDad** @TonyStark  
>  _replying to @AIFriday @starspangledman_
> 
> Absolutely.


	15. #skincare

1 July 2020 · 5:14 AM

**sBIderman** @spiderman

People of the internet, i come asking a very important questions

1 July 2020 · 5:15 AM

**sBIderman** @spiderman

What are your best acne solutions? 

> **izzy** @spgd16  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Spiderman gets acne?
> 
> **Cutethulu** @cutethuwu  
>  _replying to @spiderman @spgd16_
> 
> Dude... there's an actual person under that mask...
> 
> **makenzie** @makensneeze  
>  _replying to @spiderman @cutethuwu_
> 
> Wait until they find out that spidey *gasp* has to eat and use the bathroom too
> 
> **izzy** @spgd16
> 
> no need for u guys to be rude.

> **Jessica** @jessicalouwho  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Omg check out hyram on youtube!!

> **Big D** @DazeDee  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Honestly you could have a bomb skin care routine, but, you're not going to see any results if you keep your mask on for hours every day.
> 
> **sBIderman** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @DazeDee_
> 
> i googled about my mask! i used to sweat a lot in my old one, but this one is pretty light weight! I don't have any troubles breathing through it, so i thought it wasn't the issue.
> 
> **Big D** @DazeDee  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> *facepalm* breathable for you, maybe, but not for your skin!

> **It's a choice** @milesperhour  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> It might be puberty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I am alive-can you tell that my depression is worse in the winter? Sorry that I up and disappeared, life is crazy but hopefully things will start feeling normal again. (Also, I know this chapter is really short, I just needed to post something to hopefully kick my ass back into gear for writing)


	16. Get ██████

11 July 2020 · 1:14 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

you know, it’s really a wonderful day out today

11 July 2020 · 1:15 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

the sun is shining

11 July 2020 · 1:15 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

there are pretty clouds!

11 July 2020 · 1:16 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

i don’t even care that i’m locked out!

11 July 2020 · 1:17 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

like, it’s really good to get some fresh air for once!

> **Ciara** @lemonwedgebaby  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Do you not get fresh air when you're swinging around the city?
> 
> **sBIderman** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @lemonwedgebaby_
> 
> this air is different! it's not city air!

11 July 2020 · 1:22 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

why would i ever want to go inside when i have all this fresh air and sunshine!

> **Caw Caw** @hawkeye  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Glad to hear you're enjoying yourself out there spider-ling
> 
> **sBIderman** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @hawkeye_
> 
> it's so great out here, your prank failed mr barton! you should just let me back in now since your prank didn't work!
> 
> **Caw Caw** @hawkeye  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Such a shame. Actually, I was thinking about going to train, maybe take out my hearing aids for a few hours. I probably won't even hear FRIDAY telling me someone is requesting entrance to the compound! But that's fine right, since it's so great out there?
> 
> **sBIderman** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @hawkeye_
> 
> that's FINE, mr barton! i'm HAPPY to be outside!

11 July 2020 · 2:45 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

@hawkeye if you do not open this ███████ door, i will eat your knee caps

11 July 2020 · 2:47 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

WHY DID MY ████ GET CENSORED?!

11 July 2020 · 2:49 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

What the ████. ████ ███████. Are there any █████████████ words i can ███████ type

11 July 2020 · 2:52 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

█████ ███ ████████ ██ ██ █ ██████ ██ ███ █████ ███ █ █████ ████ ████ ██████ ███ █ ███ ██ ███ █████ ███████ ████████ █ █████ █████ ██ ████ ████

11 July 2020 · 2:54 PM

 **sBIderman** @spiderman

@hawkeye I AM EATING YOUR KNEE CAPS FOR LUNCH

> **Caw Caw** @hawkeye  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> @tonystark COME GET YOUR KID HE IS SCARING ME AGAIN
> 
> **#IronDad** @tonystark  
>  _replying to @hawkeye @spiderman_
> 
> Kid! You can't threaten to eat people's kneecaps when you're upset, we talked about this. It's not even one of your powers.
> 
> **sBIderman** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @hawkeye @tonystark_
> 
> NOT ███████ YET IT’S NOT!!

11 July 2020 · 3:02 PM

 **Daily Bugle** @thedailybugle

Breaking News: Local menace threatens bodily harm to Avengers. Someone needs to take control of this foul mouthed web-slinging vigilante — [read more here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKHdNWJytEE)

> **sBIderman** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @thedailybugle_
> 
> Get ██████


	17. Ladies, Gentlemen, Either-ors, and Neither-nors

25 July 2020 · 8:52 PM

**sticky boi** @spiderman

a friend of mine came out to me as nonbinary this weekend, and like, yay!

25 July 2020 · 8:53 PM

**sticky boi** @spiderman

i thought the hardest adjustment for me would be using new pronouns for them

25 July 2020 · 8:53 PM

**sticky boi** @spiderman

but it's actually the heavy weight of the realization of how gendered the english language is as a whole

25 July 2020 · 8:54 PM

**sticky boi** @spiderman

what if my enby friend punches a racist in the face (👏 as 👏 they 👏 should 👏)? what do i say? i can’t say “pop off king!” or “yass queen” 

> **Gay-briel** @gabriel98  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> "Preach, Your Highness"
> 
> **xoxo Gossip Girl** @jourd.on  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> As you should, my liege
> 
> **Mabel** @perhapsmaybe  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> "Ok, your majesty"
> 
> **MGG <3 **@mggstanaccount  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> You better work, supreme leader
> 
> **Brian** @soupforbrains  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> No objections, your honor
> 
> **Mikayla** @mikayla_r_93  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Period, esteemed guest
> 
> **Frog** @urlocalenby  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Just hit 'em with the "Yes, Chef"


	18. #JusticeforNuggies

3 August 2020 · 2:41 PM

**sticky boi** @spiderman

if i ask mr stark nicely, do you think he'd buy me a 20pc mcnugget?

> **Paige** @paigetheplatipus  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> I'd be more worried that he'd misunderstand and just buy you McDonalds instead.
> 
> **Margo** @gingerabouttosnap  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Ok, but why does Ironman give me the vibes that he'd go to McDonalds drive through with the avengers, then only order himself a black coffee.
> 
> **Jay** @queenearth__  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> Publicly ask him for nuggies! We will shame him if he says no!

3 August 2020 · 2:58 PM

**sticky boi** @spiderman

@TonyStark , will you buy me a 20pc mcnugget?

> **#IronDad** @tonystark  
>  _replying to @spiderman_
> 
> No.
> 
> **sticky boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @tonystark_
> 
> i hope that tonight, both sides of your pillow are already warm >:'( #shameontony #justicefornuggies

3 August 2020 · 3:03 PM

**Chloe** @chloephorm

@TonyStark I hope when you step on a leaf, it's not crunchy! #shameontony

> **Brit** @thatbrittneybitch  
>  _replying to @chloephorm_
> 
> He seems a bit too old to be stepping on leaves?
> 
> **sticky boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @thatbrittneybitch_
> 
> you're never too old for a satisfying crunch!

3 August 2020 · 3:03 PM

**Gracie** @bakaaa

I hope @TonyStark realizes he has to pee right after finally getting comfortable in bed #shameontony

3 August 2020 · 3:03 PM

**Black Widow #1 Stan** @natasharoombanoff

I hope the moment that @TonyStark sits down, someone asks him to do something #shameontony

> **Gary** @sluttyfrenchtoast  
>  _replying to @natasharoombanoff_
> 
> Like he would actually get up and help someone
> 
> **Black Widow #1 Stan** @natasharoombanoff  
>  _replying to @sluttyfrench toast_
> 
> True, then I hope the moment he sits down, something inconvenient happens!

3 August 2020 · 3:05 PM

**Riley** @rileysmiley

#shameontony , I hope he forgets to shake the ketchup and only gets the watery bits

> **Emma** @esemma  
>  _replying to @rileysmiley_
> 
> And those watery bits go all over his fries and leave them soggy and gross! #shameontony
> 
> **sticky boi** @spiderman  
>  _replying to @rileysmiley @esemma_
> 
> :o evil!

3 August 2020 · 3:05 PM

**Carrie** @instantpotatoes

I hope @tonystark goes up a flight of stairs only to forget why he went up them in the first place and he doesn't remember until he's gone back down, thus he has to go back up them again #shameontony

3 August 2020 · 3:06 PM

**McDonald's** @McDonalds

We hope that @TonyStark 's food is always slightly cold in the middle, unlike our 20pc McNugget. We've sent you a DM, @spiderman . #shameontony #justicefornuggies


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